Rent

"You don't want baggage
Without lifetime guarantees
You don't want to watch me die"

My friend was able to get last minute tickets to the final performance of Rent in our city on saturday. I didn't have anything else going on that night, so I said yes without a thought. I don't want to get all melodramatic here, but seeing the show:

a. made me cry
b. brought up some memories of earlier this year

A. was no surprise. I'm a crier. I cry at movies, books, tv shows, sad songs...pretty much anything with a plot. In the past, seeing the movie and the broadway show has brought tears to my eyes, so I was expecting that.

I wasn't expecting the sight of Angel in a hospital gown (similar to my old ones) and some of the lines to really hit me where it hurts. Watching the characters struggle with AIDS and still be there for each other, even when really sick or dying made me sadangrymaddepressedlonely. Why couldn't I have that too?

My illness was the catalyst for my break-up in November, and it was hard watching what I didn't have. I know Crohn's disease isn't fatal, but if people with AIDS can find love, and not be ashamed of their disease why can't I.

This musical hit a couple of nerves, and I feel like I understood it in a completely new way. Rent did amazing things for AIDS awareness, however I doubt Crohn's will ever reach that level of mainstream pop-culture.